Hygiene

Lets just establish something: there is no such thing as the "messy look" ...or the "scruffy look" ...or the "lazy look." All of these so called "statement looks" are really just excuses for people to be messy, scruffy, and lazy and avoid public ridicule while doing so.

You are not that man, and if you are, stop it.

Being a messy man has its place-- with your friends. Being a scruffy man has its place-- on a weekend away, fishing or camping. And being a lazy man has [had] its place-- in 1997, when we all looked awful even when we were trying to look good.

So lets talk about hygiene. When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thing you do? You had better quickly respond to that question with, "shower;" no excuses. A good shower can be the dividing line between a truly good and a truly horrific day. Showering, however, is not just climbing into the shower, turning on hot water, and singing in a pitch that only dogs can hear. Showering should be a daily ritual where you take the time to take care of yourself.

Every man needs 3 things in his shower: a good shampoo, a good conditioner, and a quality body soap or gel. Start with the shampoo to clean your hair and scalp and follow with a conditioner of your choice.

--Side note: A conditioner is the difference between this:

And this:

So don't treat it lightly.

You can find inexpensive shampoos and conditioners at any supermarket. Many soap companies even have special brands and scents for men so you don't have to worry about sacrificing your manhood on the alter or cleanliness to do so.

Once you have washed and conditioned your hair, give yourself a good scrub. Gentlemen do not simply "rinse off" in the shower. They, unlike primates, actually clean themselves with soap, and water.

Following your shower, it is important to get in a good shave. A man looks and feels his best with a shaved or trimmed face. No woman wants to touch the face of a man who looks like he just spent a year in Amish Country. I repeat, no woman.

A good shave should always be followed by a good face wash to clean out all of the dead skin that has been upheaved by shaving. Buy something simple, don't worry about costly brands with elaborate cleansing formulas-- simplicity is key.

Follow this with a good teeth-brushing, a bit of deodorant, and you're almost ready to go...except for one thing: the cologne.

Let me stress this, gentlemen. One spray, on the neck. ONE. SPRAY. Anything more and its just intrusive.

Stay clean! Be fresh. One spray!

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

Lets Talk About It: Your Pants.

Gentlemen:

Let's catch up. Have you destroyed any evidence of your former denims? Enough that no one could track back to you your ownership of a pair (...pairs?) of those carpenter jeans? Good. Now before you head to the store to buy your new pair of 501 Levis, let's talk about a couple more options you have when it comes to purchasing the perfect pair of pants.

First, lets talk about chinos. Sound it out with me: chee-nos. I don't want you walking around like an idiot saying "chine-os" and having people think you're a racist. A chino, by definition, is a casual pant made from a cotton-twill fabric. It can be worn in both recreational settings as well as those deemed to be business-casual. You can wear a a chino with anything you'd pair with denim. Throw on a t-shit and you have a cool, causal look; throw on a collared shirt and you can wear it to the office. Chinos comfortable, light weight, and fairly easy to find. Choose a chino that is tailored to the leg and comfortable to move in. Ideally, the fit and style should look like this:

Chinos can be cuffed during warmer months to accomplish a more casual look as well. Feel free to buy your chinos in different colors for a more interesting look as well.

Second, lets talk about corduroys, or as they are often referred to as, "cords." Cords are the happy marriage between the comfort of denim and the versatility of chinos. The are typically made from cotton or wool and are quite a bit warmer than denim or chinos in the fall/winter months. When buying, keep in mind the same guidelines used when purchasing chinos: fit and comfort. Say it with me: FIT and COMFORT (with comfort always being secondary to fit). Just because something feels good, doesn't mean it looks good, and this is especially true of corduroy. Think about those charming sweats and pleated khakis your grandpa wears and you'll understand where I'm coming from-- keep your pants tailored close to the leg, and you'll be in good shape.

Now you a full 'to-do' list the next time you plan to go pant shopping. Don't spend a fortune, just find one or two pairs you like and start with that.

Onward and upward, good sirs!

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

The Third Date

Last but not least, we have the big third date. You can taste the tension in the air.

I will be honest with you, gentlemen. For as much hype as is attached to this date, it really is a no-brainer:

Take the woman out to a nice dinner.

Just to aid us in the process, let's make a list of places that are NOT considered to be fine dining:

--Dennys.

--Ihop.

--Village Inn.

--Anywhere that advertises "pie" as a highlight of the menu

--Burger joints in general

--Pizza parlors

--Your parent's house

The list goes on and on.

Now let's talk about the qualifications of a nice restaurant. Keep in mind, this can still be affordable if you do it right, it will just take a little preparedness (can I stress enough how important this is?!)

When looking for a quality restaurant, it is important to know that it does not have to have 5 stars to impress. Many 4 star restaurants provide excellent service and high quality food as well, and do it for a fraction of the price. Things to look for on your restaurant hunt are as follows:

A chef. A good restaurant has a real chef; not just some kid right out of culinary school following a corporate-cookbook.

A wine menu. A quality wine-menu is a good indicator of the quality of a restaurant. Just because it exists, however, does not mean you have to order from it.

A little style, a little class. Find a place that has personality, is in a quality building in a good area, and that has earned a good reputation both online and from people you trust. A little class goes a long way.

Follow those steps, and you will be golden.

And lets just be clear, gentlemen. When you take a woman out to a nice restaurant, you put on a tie. Or a a blazer. At a minimum, a shirt with a collar. Don't kill yourself over it, just look the part.

Treat her like a lady, and I promise you she'll love you for it.

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

Click here for an excellent example of what to look for when restaurant hunting:

http://johnberryhillrestaurants.com/berryhillandco/

The Second Date

Don't quit on me now, gentlemen! We are on to the second date. We have crossed the bridge over the first date and we are now going through the tunnel of the second. And what is at the end of that tunnel? The third date! And with it the possibility of actually starting a relationship. Now wouldn't that be nice?

As we did for the first date, let’s elaborate on the detials of your last unsuccessful second date. What did you do the last time that doomed you to failure? First of all, I hope you didn't call her right after you dropped her off from the first date to plan it. Bad move. I also hope you didn't call the next day. Or the day after. Or even the day after that, if we're being honest. Give it time, good sir. Give it time.

If you really had a great time, plan for two weeks following the first date and call towards the latter end of the first week. We want a woman to assume that you have a life outside of dating her-- even if you really don't-- so, we wait. We make the phone call. And then we plan the date on the phone, right? Wrong. When you call a woman to ask her on a second date, you always have your plans prepared beforehand.

The basics of this date, primarily preparedness, are the same as the first. We want your special lady to feel comfortable, and we want her in an atmosphere that you have under control. The second date, however, can differ from the first in one area: have some fun with it. By now you have probably completed the first-date ritual of "Where are you from?" "What is your family like?" "What are you studying or where are you working?" and the increasingly common, "What medications are you taking?" (the last one, though practical, was a joke, gentlemen. DO NOT ask a woman about anything related to her physical or mental well being on a first date... or a second... or even a third. In fact, let's just avoid those topics all together).

From the information you received on your first date, you should have a fairly clear idea of the girl's personality and interests by the second. Keep this in mind, and plan out an evening where you can explore each other’s interests further and have a good time doing so as well. Keep in mind, however, that the second date should still include some aspect of a sit-down dinner or refreshment. Just because you are doing something active or interesting does not excuse you from taking a girl out to dinner.

Some examples of dates that fit personalities are listed below:

For the adventurous girl: Take her on a hike and have a picnic prepared for the two of you to share at the top of the mountain. No PB&J; take time to make a meal that will really impress her.

For the history-buff: Take her to a local museum, and read up on the pieces in the exhibit so you know what you're talking about once you get there. End the night by taking her to a local gelateria where the two of you can talk about what you saw and read.

For the music lover: Find a local cafe or coffee shop that has a local talent night. Invite her to join you and listen to music while enjoying your drinks and eating coffee cake.

For the girl who's just looking for a good time: Invite her out to play mini-golf, to a seasonal carnival, or to a movie. Afterwards, enjoy a meal or ice cream together and take the time get to know one another better.

So gentlemen, as you can see your options are unlimited. Follow your gut and listen to your instincts and you'll know exactly what to do.

Best, to each of you. On to the third date!

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

The First Date

I tread cautiously, writing this post. I know many a man who has a very carefully planned dating ritual and I hate to impede upon years of practice and habit. But, if you are still single and all of your planning has left you at a dead end-- fear not. I have answers.

Let us reminisce on the last date you took a woman on. Where did you go? What did you do? Was there a second date? I fear that far too many men don't know what it is that women are looking for on a first date, and so their answers to those questions probably went as follows:

"To a Golden Corral."
"Ate at Golden Corral, and then rocked out to radio-hits."
"No, there was not a second date."
--Of course there wasn't!

There is no woman on earth who is going to be impressed by your lack of taste in restaurants and your prepubescent sounding baritone. The only woman who might love you after a night like that would be your  mother, and even that would be by force of habit.

So what to do? Are all of your options exhausted? Here's where we start: restaurant hunting. Go out and try a couple 3-4 star restaurants in your area. Feel comfortable asking the waiter what is good and what isn't. Use online review sites like Yelp or Zagat to aid you along the way and talk to people you know and trust and ask them their opinions on the places you have selected. The goal intended is to have you prepared; a woman loves a man who knows what he's doing.

Choose a restaurant that you like-- the food, the atmosphere-- just keep in mind that this restaurant represents you on your future date. The service, the dining experience, even the waiter will have an effect on the woman's opinion of you at the end of the night, so be choosy. Make a reservation beforehand, even if you know the restaurant will have openings the night of your date. As I have stressed this entire post, our goal is for you to always be prepared. We don't you floundering about like an ignoramus while still trying to make a good first impression.

Once you arrive at the restaurant, open the door for her on the way in. Pull out her chair and ensure that she is allowed to order first and ask the waiter questions she may have concerning the menu. Be confident in your decision to eat where you chose. If she has questions for you, answer them to the best of your ability. Have your meal chosen before hand and share with her your experience with the restaurant and why it was that you chose it.

Again, a restaurant does not have to be 'fine dining' to be considered acceptable. Just make sure its somewhere you are comfortable; somewhere with personality where you can be confident about the food, service, and atmosphere. The benefit of doing so is obvious: even if the date goes poorly, at least you got to eat at one of your [new] favorite restaurants. Consider it your reward for branching out.

So, in review:

No buffets.
No singing.
Choose your restaurant with confidence.

Its easy, gentlemen. Enjoy.

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

Lets Talk About It: Carpenter Jeans

Carpenter Jeans.

Gentlemen, gentlemen-- lets have a chat. I am here to inform you of some great news: you can be whatever you want to be when you grow up! A doctor, a lawyer, a psychiatrist; shoot for the stars and abandon your career as a carpenter. Wait, you never wanted to be a carpenter? I'm afraid I'm confused. If you never wanted to be a carpenter, why are you be wearing the pair of denim you are now? Abandon your dreams of carpentry and lets make a fresh start (and when I say that "abandon", I mean burn your carpenter jeans and abandon their remains on the side of the road).

Carpenter jeans. I'll say it again for effect. Carpenter jeans. They were probably the first pair of jeans your mother ever bought for you and they had lots of cool loops and pockets for tools and rocks. So you probably thought: "I'm a man, I like tools, I like rocks; theses are the jeans for me." Unfortunately there are several things wrong with that way of thinking. First of all, you were probably five when you received your first pair of carpenter jeans; you were not a man. Secondly, I want you to think about the last time you slid on a pair of carpenter jeans and actually went out and fixed something. If you did, did you even use the loops for any tools?  Think about your entire life and lets be really honest: have you ever used those loops and pockets for their intended purpose? Unless your a contractor (or a carpenter or a rock collector) I would guess that your answer to both of these questions was an overwhelming 'NO.'

Thanks to clothing stores across the nation that emerged during the time of our youth  <<cough>> Old Navy <<cough>>, we have an entire generation of men who still allow their mothers to dress them up like they are little construction workers. Sure, it was endearing back in 1995 when you were still a child and filled with dreams of manual labor and ditch digging, but this is 2012 and men of this age have much higher ambitions.

So do not fret, modern gentlemen. There are options.

I want to introduce you to the 501 Levi: the man's denim. Men don't wear skinny jeans-- they leave that to self-conscious teenage boys. They also don't wear boot-cut jeans-- they leave that to self-conscious teenage girls. Real men wear a good straight cut jean, and that is the 501. When you are out looking for denim, start first by looking for a good dark wash jean. Unlike the carpenter jeans of your past with their nauseating baby blue hues and baggy fit, the dark-wash jean gives the wearer a more clean, cool, and sophisticated look. Dark-wash denim can be worn recreationally, but it is also versatile in the fact that it can be worn in more formal settings as well. Pair it with a t-shirt, you've got your weekend wear. Pair it with a nice collared shirt and a blazer, you can take it out on your hot-date this weekend. The trick is to keep it simple. Avoid special bleaching or tearing for now-- you can adopt denim that has been specially treated to add those effects after you have down the basics.

Find a great fit with a great color, and wear your denim with pride. No more will you be the man whose mother takes you to the local warehouse and buys his jeans for him. Now, you are a man. Now, you buy for yourself.

And as for the other women in your life, what is their opinion? Put yourself in their shoes and think: ditch-digger, or clean-cut gentleman?

The choice is yours.

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

Art.

Lets cut straight to the point:
Put some art on your walls. 

Find some prints or quality photographs, blow them up to poster size, and either frame them or buy some stretcher bars at your local hardware store to turn them into canvases. Find art you're passionate about; things that really catch your eye. Our goal here is for a woman to walk into your home and think to herself, "This man has culture," or "this man has personality."

And lets be clear: swimsuit models don't qualify you as either cultured or interesting. Neither do unframed movie posters. Sorry, gents. 

Check out these websites for great deals on inexpensive art:

http://www.art.com/gallery/id--c23944/fine-art-prints.htm?ui=582444D84B7A47EC9AA999664568208E

http://www.icanvasart.com/fine-art-best-sellers.html

http://www.costcophotocenter.com/PremiumContent/SelectImage/?p=78975c06-35ca-49ce-a546-5f5b8b390c70

Cheers. 

--Dapper Chris

Two prints by Lichtenstein on display in my dining room. 

In the Movies.

Gentlemen:

Think of the last movie you saw with a man who had every woman he wanted. I can promise you it wasn't the Avengers or Cabin in the Woods, and it definitely wasn't The Dictator (shame on you if you even saw that one). Think back further. Remember that Steve Carell movie that came out a little while back? It was entitled Crazy, Stupid, Love. Now I don't think we need to go into all the details of this film, but I do want to bring to mind a particular character from the movie (here's a hint, it wasn't Steve Carell or even Kevin Bacon). Remember the character, Jacob? Or as we might call him in man-culture: the guy who got with Emma Stone? The guy that all of us wanted to be at the end of the movie. I want you to picture that character very clearly in your mind and remember his entrance into the film.

When we first meet the character of Jacob, the camera starts on his shoes (NOTE: they are not New Balance sneakers) and slowly pans upward until reaching his face. Why do they do this, you may ask? Well, in order to understand it a bit better, lets go back a little further into the history of film and examine the way male protagonists are introduced in a scene.

If we go back far enough, there is a fascinating French film from 1937 by Julien Duvivier entitled Pepe le Moko. The film tells the story of a french gangster living in the Casbah of Algier and his chase of a beautiful woman (as well as his escape from several others). As we meet this character, the pan of the camera is exactly the same as it is when covering the character of Jacob in Crazy, Stupid, Love. We see the shoes; well shined. We see the suit; well tailored. We see the face; well groomed. We see the hair; well cut. And we see the man-- filled with confidence-- approaching the woman he wants without hesitation.

So what is the lesson here? Why should we pay attention to these iconic men in cinema and what are the lessons we learn by doing so? Well, whether you want to be the smooth talking "Jacob" of today or the effortlessly slick "Pepe le Moko" of yesterday, keep this in mind:

Shine your shoes.
Tailor your suits.
Groom your face.
Cut your hair.
Be a man.

If you want this:

First, you have to be this:

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

Lets Talk About It: The White New Balance Sneaker

The White New Balance Sneaker

Lets start from the ground up and begin with the most important part of your body-- your feet. If a man doesn't care for his feet then he is nothing short of a primate. What other than a good pair of shoes is there to differentiate us from our hominid ancestors? (other than a good suit, of course)

When you put on your dingy, old, New Balance sneaker in the morning, what are you saying to the world? Are you saying that you are heading to a workout right after class? No. What you're really saying is that you went to Shopko Express, pulled something off of the sale shelf, paid for it, and walked out. Lets just establish that anywhere produce is sold is not a place you should not be buying shoes. Ever.

And beyond where you bought the shoes, when you wear a pair of old sneakers is simply says to women everywhere, "I don't care." And while women may be thrilled by an apathetic man sweeping them off of their feet (i.e. James Dean) they definitely aren't looking for a man who doesn't care about anything at all; especially himself.

So dress it up a bit. Get out of the box and buy a good pair of boat shoes, bucks, or chukka boots. And if you don't know what those are-- Google them. Not only will you learn something, you'll probably find an online store that's selling exactly what your looking for.

Carry on, gents.

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

Want more information? Read up on a women's perspective by clicking on the following link: "Shoe Crimes" --from dontyougochanging.blogspot.com

Gentlemen: An introduction

Gentlemen of Provo--

I come to you in a moment of desperation. I have seen far too many of you wasting away the best years of your life in a stupor of both thought and lifestyle. You cannot carry on in this way; here and now is where we change this.

In this blog I would like to address some of the issues that plague our fair city and the men within it.

Are you single? No surprise. Here is where you re-find your manhood.

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris