Hygiene

Lets just establish something: there is no such thing as the "messy look" ...or the "scruffy look" ...or the "lazy look." All of these so called "statement looks" are really just excuses for people to be messy, scruffy, and lazy and avoid public ridicule while doing so.

You are not that man, and if you are, stop it.

Being a messy man has its place-- with your friends. Being a scruffy man has its place-- on a weekend away, fishing or camping. And being a lazy man has [had] its place-- in 1997, when we all looked awful even when we were trying to look good.

So lets talk about hygiene. When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thing you do? You had better quickly respond to that question with, "shower;" no excuses. A good shower can be the dividing line between a truly good and a truly horrific day. Showering, however, is not just climbing into the shower, turning on hot water, and singing in a pitch that only dogs can hear. Showering should be a daily ritual where you take the time to take care of yourself.

Every man needs 3 things in his shower: a good shampoo, a good conditioner, and a quality body soap or gel. Start with the shampoo to clean your hair and scalp and follow with a conditioner of your choice.

--Side note: A conditioner is the difference between this:

And this:

So don't treat it lightly.

You can find inexpensive shampoos and conditioners at any supermarket. Many soap companies even have special brands and scents for men so you don't have to worry about sacrificing your manhood on the alter or cleanliness to do so.

Once you have washed and conditioned your hair, give yourself a good scrub. Gentlemen do not simply "rinse off" in the shower. They, unlike primates, actually clean themselves with soap, and water.

Following your shower, it is important to get in a good shave. A man looks and feels his best with a shaved or trimmed face. No woman wants to touch the face of a man who looks like he just spent a year in Amish Country. I repeat, no woman.

A good shave should always be followed by a good face wash to clean out all of the dead skin that has been upheaved by shaving. Buy something simple, don't worry about costly brands with elaborate cleansing formulas-- simplicity is key.

Follow this with a good teeth-brushing, a bit of deodorant, and you're almost ready to go...except for one thing: the cologne.

Let me stress this, gentlemen. One spray, on the neck. ONE. SPRAY. Anything more and its just intrusive.

Stay clean! Be fresh. One spray!

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris