Courage, Men!

Courage: the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty, or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action.

Today, we go beyond what you're wearing, eating, or smelling like and talk about what it means to be a man-- men are courageous. 

How can you expect yourself to meet the woman of your dreams without a little chutspah? (if you need to google that word to find out what it means, we won't hold it against you...unless your Jewish and do, in fact, speak Yiddish).

Let's play out a scenario; we'll entitle it "Afternoon at the Cafe."

The scene opens with you, at a cafe, sitting near a beautiful woman.

You: (remain silent)
<<turn to face the beautiful woman>>

Her: (looks up from her meal and notices you)

...and now what?

You are a confident, well-groomed, well-dressed, independent man (and if you're not, you're getting there!) She's a beautiful woman with kind eyes and a copy of a popular novel sitting next to her grilled cheese sandwich. What do you do?

You: (casually, referring to her book) I've heard great things about that book.

Her: I've really enjoyed it so far.

You: Hi, my name is [Your Name Here]

Her: Hello.

You: Do you have a minute? I'd love to hear more about that book.

Her: I'm actually leaving now, but it was nice to meet you.
<<she quickly gathers her things and gets up to leave>>

The End.

"But wait!" --you may say-- "She just walked away and totally blew me off! I was courageous to even talk to her!"

Yes, it was courageous to talk to her, but that is not the true test of your courage. Real courage is pulling yourself up off of the ground and taking the opportunity to talk to the next beautiful woman that comes your way-- even after this tragic mishap.

Gentlemen, if I were to offer you any advice it would simply be this:

"Courage is more than simply being the bravest man in the bunch, it is being the man who is most willing to try again, even after an apparent failure."

So get back up on your feet, good sirs. Continue your search for love and adventure.

Cheers, my friends.

--Dapper Chris

The Second Date

Don't quit on me now, gentlemen! We are on to the second date. We have crossed the bridge over the first date and we are now going through the tunnel of the second. And what is at the end of that tunnel? The third date! And with it the possibility of actually starting a relationship. Now wouldn't that be nice?

As we did for the first date, let’s elaborate on the detials of your last unsuccessful second date. What did you do the last time that doomed you to failure? First of all, I hope you didn't call her right after you dropped her off from the first date to plan it. Bad move. I also hope you didn't call the next day. Or the day after. Or even the day after that, if we're being honest. Give it time, good sir. Give it time.

If you really had a great time, plan for two weeks following the first date and call towards the latter end of the first week. We want a woman to assume that you have a life outside of dating her-- even if you really don't-- so, we wait. We make the phone call. And then we plan the date on the phone, right? Wrong. When you call a woman to ask her on a second date, you always have your plans prepared beforehand.

The basics of this date, primarily preparedness, are the same as the first. We want your special lady to feel comfortable, and we want her in an atmosphere that you have under control. The second date, however, can differ from the first in one area: have some fun with it. By now you have probably completed the first-date ritual of "Where are you from?" "What is your family like?" "What are you studying or where are you working?" and the increasingly common, "What medications are you taking?" (the last one, though practical, was a joke, gentlemen. DO NOT ask a woman about anything related to her physical or mental well being on a first date... or a second... or even a third. In fact, let's just avoid those topics all together).

From the information you received on your first date, you should have a fairly clear idea of the girl's personality and interests by the second. Keep this in mind, and plan out an evening where you can explore each other’s interests further and have a good time doing so as well. Keep in mind, however, that the second date should still include some aspect of a sit-down dinner or refreshment. Just because you are doing something active or interesting does not excuse you from taking a girl out to dinner.

Some examples of dates that fit personalities are listed below:

For the adventurous girl: Take her on a hike and have a picnic prepared for the two of you to share at the top of the mountain. No PB&J; take time to make a meal that will really impress her.

For the history-buff: Take her to a local museum, and read up on the pieces in the exhibit so you know what you're talking about once you get there. End the night by taking her to a local gelateria where the two of you can talk about what you saw and read.

For the music lover: Find a local cafe or coffee shop that has a local talent night. Invite her to join you and listen to music while enjoying your drinks and eating coffee cake.

For the girl who's just looking for a good time: Invite her out to play mini-golf, to a seasonal carnival, or to a movie. Afterwards, enjoy a meal or ice cream together and take the time get to know one another better.

So gentlemen, as you can see your options are unlimited. Follow your gut and listen to your instincts and you'll know exactly what to do.

Best, to each of you. On to the third date!

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris