Lets Talk About It: Your Hair

Now that we have covered how to take care of your hair, lets discuss how to cut it.

To start, this is not acceptable:

He looks ridiculous. So do you. 

And this look?

Not acceptable, either.
He* looks ridiculous. So do you.

I think it wise to simply avoid any haircut that looks like you did it yourself in the dark. Agreed?

Now, some rules:

1) The 'gel look' died around the same time that this guy did (circa 1994):

--Sorry, John Candy. 
2) Your mom is not a hairdresser, or a barber. Fire her.
--Sorry, mom. 
3) Men go to barbers, not hairdressers. 
4) A good barber can only fix so much on a poorly cut head of hair; save your time and money and do it right the first time.

And lastly...

5) Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a good haircut.

--And that's practically the same thing.

Find a good barber, and tell him what kind of looks you are interested in. Bring in some photos of cuts that you like and ask him if they would work with your hair. Remember, it is the barber's job to provide you with a quality experience and a quality cut. Don't be afraid to ask questions and to take your time doing so. 

And once your cut is over, ask the barber what products he suggests for styling your hair. Remember, take your time at the barber shop; this is your time to focus on you.

Keep this tips in mind, and you will be amazed at the results. Take care of yourself, gentlemen. Take care of yourself simply because you deserve it. 

And as a side note for the day, buy your mom some flowers; heaven knows she deserves it for all of the years she's been giving you those tragic haircuts. 

The woman tries, you know? You have to love her for that. 

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

If you are struggling to find a barber, check out this website and others like it for recommendations:http://www.findbarbers.com/

*Not, in fact, a man. But now you know what you look like.

Hygiene

Lets just establish something: there is no such thing as the "messy look" ...or the "scruffy look" ...or the "lazy look." All of these so called "statement looks" are really just excuses for people to be messy, scruffy, and lazy and avoid public ridicule while doing so.

You are not that man, and if you are, stop it.

Being a messy man has its place-- with your friends. Being a scruffy man has its place-- on a weekend away, fishing or camping. And being a lazy man has [had] its place-- in 1997, when we all looked awful even when we were trying to look good.

So lets talk about hygiene. When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thing you do? You had better quickly respond to that question with, "shower;" no excuses. A good shower can be the dividing line between a truly good and a truly horrific day. Showering, however, is not just climbing into the shower, turning on hot water, and singing in a pitch that only dogs can hear. Showering should be a daily ritual where you take the time to take care of yourself.

Every man needs 3 things in his shower: a good shampoo, a good conditioner, and a quality body soap or gel. Start with the shampoo to clean your hair and scalp and follow with a conditioner of your choice.

--Side note: A conditioner is the difference between this:

And this:

So don't treat it lightly.

You can find inexpensive shampoos and conditioners at any supermarket. Many soap companies even have special brands and scents for men so you don't have to worry about sacrificing your manhood on the alter or cleanliness to do so.

Once you have washed and conditioned your hair, give yourself a good scrub. Gentlemen do not simply "rinse off" in the shower. They, unlike primates, actually clean themselves with soap, and water.

Following your shower, it is important to get in a good shave. A man looks and feels his best with a shaved or trimmed face. No woman wants to touch the face of a man who looks like he just spent a year in Amish Country. I repeat, no woman.

A good shave should always be followed by a good face wash to clean out all of the dead skin that has been upheaved by shaving. Buy something simple, don't worry about costly brands with elaborate cleansing formulas-- simplicity is key.

Follow this with a good teeth-brushing, a bit of deodorant, and you're almost ready to go...except for one thing: the cologne.

Let me stress this, gentlemen. One spray, on the neck. ONE. SPRAY. Anything more and its just intrusive.

Stay clean! Be fresh. One spray!

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

In the Movies.

Gentlemen:

Think of the last movie you saw with a man who had every woman he wanted. I can promise you it wasn't the Avengers or Cabin in the Woods, and it definitely wasn't The Dictator (shame on you if you even saw that one). Think back further. Remember that Steve Carell movie that came out a little while back? It was entitled Crazy, Stupid, Love. Now I don't think we need to go into all the details of this film, but I do want to bring to mind a particular character from the movie (here's a hint, it wasn't Steve Carell or even Kevin Bacon). Remember the character, Jacob? Or as we might call him in man-culture: the guy who got with Emma Stone? The guy that all of us wanted to be at the end of the movie. I want you to picture that character very clearly in your mind and remember his entrance into the film.

When we first meet the character of Jacob, the camera starts on his shoes (NOTE: they are not New Balance sneakers) and slowly pans upward until reaching his face. Why do they do this, you may ask? Well, in order to understand it a bit better, lets go back a little further into the history of film and examine the way male protagonists are introduced in a scene.

If we go back far enough, there is a fascinating French film from 1937 by Julien Duvivier entitled Pepe le Moko. The film tells the story of a french gangster living in the Casbah of Algier and his chase of a beautiful woman (as well as his escape from several others). As we meet this character, the pan of the camera is exactly the same as it is when covering the character of Jacob in Crazy, Stupid, Love. We see the shoes; well shined. We see the suit; well tailored. We see the face; well groomed. We see the hair; well cut. And we see the man-- filled with confidence-- approaching the woman he wants without hesitation.

So what is the lesson here? Why should we pay attention to these iconic men in cinema and what are the lessons we learn by doing so? Well, whether you want to be the smooth talking "Jacob" of today or the effortlessly slick "Pepe le Moko" of yesterday, keep this in mind:

Shine your shoes.
Tailor your suits.
Groom your face.
Cut your hair.
Be a man.

If you want this:

First, you have to be this:

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris