A Message for the Women.

This week, a change of pace. Here is post about my dear friend and fellow blogger, Rachel Porter.

Her posts may only be meant for women, but the message she shares through them is for everyone.

Enjoy.

FASHION BLOGGER RACHEL PORTER FIGHTS THE BELIEF THAT “SKIN IS IN.”

Spunky, fun, fresh and original are ways to describe Rachel Sayumi Porter—writer and collaborator for the popular fashion/lifestyle blog, “Mr. JP and Me.” She is a young wife, student, fashion icon, and interestingly enough, she is also a Mormon.  Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints—commonly referred to as Mormons—are typically identified by their strict moral code and rigid conservative values …certainly not by their style. Rachel Porter is out to change that.

With the Mormon belief in modesty in the way one both acts and dresses, many young Mormons focus more on how their clothing covers their bodies rather than how it dresses them. Rachel is a strong believer in that fact that you don’t have to ‘bare it all’ to show off creative, trend-setting style. “You can still look good, but be conservative,” she says. “People do notice what you wear and what you’re trying to show the world by how you dress. It’s really important that you look good, but still hold the standards that you know are true.”

In a popular Mormon pamphlet geared towards the youth of church, church-leaders encourage young Mormon women to wear clothing that shows respect for both themselves and their bodies. This pamphlet, aptly titled, “For the Strength of Youth,” encourages women to “wear clothing that covers the shoulder and avoid clothing that is low-cut in the front or the back or revealing in any other manner.” It also discourages women from wearing short shorts and skirts, shirts that do not cover the stomach, as well as any clothing that may be especially tight or revealing. Though some may view these standards as constricting, Rachel sees them as preparatory for her future career. “[Modest clothing] is nice because it covers everything and it’s versatile. I think it’s classy; it’s what people wear to work every day in the professional world.”

Others have also begun to take notice of Rachel’s work including online retailers and the fashion/lifestyle writers with whom she shares the blogosphere. Natalie Fielding, author of the trending blog, “Natalie Grace,” and a lover of fashion herself said of Rachel’s blog: “I think [it] does a good job of promoting modesty. I see the outfits she puts together and I want to recreate the same! I constantly think, ‘Oh, that is modest and cute, but more so the cute part.’ That says a lot about the subtle difference she is making.”

With such high praise from her colleagues as well as the support from her numerous sponsors, Rachel is starting to make a “splash” in the world of fashion, one that she hopes will ripple outward and inspire other girls—both Mormon and non-Mormon—to dress in a way that shows respect for themselves. “I want people to know that I’m happy with the way I am and the way I dress myself. I’m happy being modest. I hope that non-members [and] members who are maybe struggling with modesty can see that. I like the way I look, while still being modest.”

Confidence in oneself and positive self-image are very important to Rachel, and the example she is setting for women both in and out of the Mormon Church is made apparent by the support of her readers. Below each of her posts one finds an overwhelming amount of love from her fans, as well as their gratitude for what she is doing. When you read her blog, it becomes obvious what she has created is more than just a commentary on her lifestyle; it is a declaration of faith in both her standards and herself. When asked about her beliefs and her style, Rachel said this: “Modesty is a big part of my life. As a young girl, my mother always emphasized the importance of not dressing "of the world," but to dress in a way that reflected my inner beauty.” Her writing and her lifestyle not only attest to this principle, but highlight Rachel as living proof that while following trends may make your style current, it is being true to yourself that makes it timeless.

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

Be sure to check Rachel out at: www.rachelsayumi.com

Lets Talk About It: Your Shorts.

I'm going to start with this synopsis so that if you don't have time to read today, then at least you have this:

Definitely yes, but not on you:

No.

No.

 

No.

Definitely 'No.' Ever. 

Easy enough, right?

Now, for the explanation:

Short denim shorts: Lets be honest: unless your twenty, young, beautiful, and female, then there is no way you can pull these off. Its not cute, its not funny. Don't wear them.

Cargo shorts: I doubt you're planning on starting a career as a smuggler, so these shorts should never be a part of your wardrobe. They make you look bulky, awkward, and unbalanced-- and those are adjectives that no one likes used descriptively.

Camo shorts: Don't wear camo unless you've earned it (i.e going to war, hunting, etc). And fyi, wearing camouflage  to Walmart on a Saturday = you haven't earned it. Keep trying. 

Plaid shorts: This trend began and ended almost as soon as this one did:

And we're all truly grateful for that, aren't we? 

Hawaiian print shorts: Made exclusively for George Clooney and your grandpa. Not for you, gentlemen.

Now lets talk about a solution:

Introducing, 'flat front shorts.'

Easy, clean, timeless.

Its simple and basic, just like today's post. But, as in life, its always better to keep things "short" and sweet if you ask me.

That's all folks! 

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

Lets Talk About It: Your T-Shirt

Inspiration can come in the most interesting ways. Today, it came in the form of this:

Gentlemen, please. 

Lets take a step back. When you roll out of bed in the morning, open up your dresser, and pull this little gem of a shirt on, you are telling the world two things:

1) I don't respect myself and
2) I certainly don't respect you.

There is no woman who (in her right mind) would find you witty or attractive wearing something so blatantly offensive. And don't fool yourself into thinking that only "hot" girls will have the confidence to approach you when you wear a shirt like this.

I'm sorry, you're wrong.

Those girls will be too busy laughing with their attractive friends about how ridiculously juvenile you look in your ugly t-shirt. Which brings me to the next matter of concern:

What about this shirt says, "I am a well dressed, confident man"? Nothing. If anything, all this shirt says to a woman is:

"I spent too much money on a tacky piece of clothing, so you should know that whatever I get you for Christmas will probably follow the same trend."

And last but not least, why, WHY do we feel that this is okay:

You should be intelligent enough to talk for yourself at this point. Relying on your clothing to do it for you is simply...well...

pathetic.

So think about what you put on your back, gentlemen. Don't act stupid, and certainly don't look it. 

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

Lets Talk About It: Your Hair

Now that we have covered how to take care of your hair, lets discuss how to cut it.

To start, this is not acceptable:

He looks ridiculous. So do you. 

And this look?

Not acceptable, either.
He* looks ridiculous. So do you.

I think it wise to simply avoid any haircut that looks like you did it yourself in the dark. Agreed?

Now, some rules:

1) The 'gel look' died around the same time that this guy did (circa 1994):

--Sorry, John Candy. 
2) Your mom is not a hairdresser, or a barber. Fire her.
--Sorry, mom. 
3) Men go to barbers, not hairdressers. 
4) A good barber can only fix so much on a poorly cut head of hair; save your time and money and do it right the first time.

And lastly...

5) Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a good haircut.

--And that's practically the same thing.

Find a good barber, and tell him what kind of looks you are interested in. Bring in some photos of cuts that you like and ask him if they would work with your hair. Remember, it is the barber's job to provide you with a quality experience and a quality cut. Don't be afraid to ask questions and to take your time doing so. 

And once your cut is over, ask the barber what products he suggests for styling your hair. Remember, take your time at the barber shop; this is your time to focus on you.

Keep this tips in mind, and you will be amazed at the results. Take care of yourself, gentlemen. Take care of yourself simply because you deserve it. 

And as a side note for the day, buy your mom some flowers; heaven knows she deserves it for all of the years she's been giving you those tragic haircuts. 

The woman tries, you know? You have to love her for that. 

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

If you are struggling to find a barber, check out this website and others like it for recommendations:http://www.findbarbers.com/

*Not, in fact, a man. But now you know what you look like.

Lets Talk About It: Your Pants.

Gentlemen:

Let's catch up. Have you destroyed any evidence of your former denims? Enough that no one could track back to you your ownership of a pair (...pairs?) of those carpenter jeans? Good. Now before you head to the store to buy your new pair of 501 Levis, let's talk about a couple more options you have when it comes to purchasing the perfect pair of pants.

First, lets talk about chinos. Sound it out with me: chee-nos. I don't want you walking around like an idiot saying "chine-os" and having people think you're a racist. A chino, by definition, is a casual pant made from a cotton-twill fabric. It can be worn in both recreational settings as well as those deemed to be business-casual. You can wear a a chino with anything you'd pair with denim. Throw on a t-shit and you have a cool, causal look; throw on a collared shirt and you can wear it to the office. Chinos comfortable, light weight, and fairly easy to find. Choose a chino that is tailored to the leg and comfortable to move in. Ideally, the fit and style should look like this:

Chinos can be cuffed during warmer months to accomplish a more casual look as well. Feel free to buy your chinos in different colors for a more interesting look as well.

Second, lets talk about corduroys, or as they are often referred to as, "cords." Cords are the happy marriage between the comfort of denim and the versatility of chinos. The are typically made from cotton or wool and are quite a bit warmer than denim or chinos in the fall/winter months. When buying, keep in mind the same guidelines used when purchasing chinos: fit and comfort. Say it with me: FIT and COMFORT (with comfort always being secondary to fit). Just because something feels good, doesn't mean it looks good, and this is especially true of corduroy. Think about those charming sweats and pleated khakis your grandpa wears and you'll understand where I'm coming from-- keep your pants tailored close to the leg, and you'll be in good shape.

Now you a full 'to-do' list the next time you plan to go pant shopping. Don't spend a fortune, just find one or two pairs you like and start with that.

Onward and upward, good sirs!

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

The Third Date

Last but not least, we have the big third date. You can taste the tension in the air.

I will be honest with you, gentlemen. For as much hype as is attached to this date, it really is a no-brainer:

Take the woman out to a nice dinner.

Just to aid us in the process, let's make a list of places that are NOT considered to be fine dining:

--Dennys.

--Ihop.

--Village Inn.

--Anywhere that advertises "pie" as a highlight of the menu

--Burger joints in general

--Pizza parlors

--Your parent's house

The list goes on and on.

Now let's talk about the qualifications of a nice restaurant. Keep in mind, this can still be affordable if you do it right, it will just take a little preparedness (can I stress enough how important this is?!)

When looking for a quality restaurant, it is important to know that it does not have to have 5 stars to impress. Many 4 star restaurants provide excellent service and high quality food as well, and do it for a fraction of the price. Things to look for on your restaurant hunt are as follows:

A chef. A good restaurant has a real chef; not just some kid right out of culinary school following a corporate-cookbook.

A wine menu. A quality wine-menu is a good indicator of the quality of a restaurant. Just because it exists, however, does not mean you have to order from it.

A little style, a little class. Find a place that has personality, is in a quality building in a good area, and that has earned a good reputation both online and from people you trust. A little class goes a long way.

Follow those steps, and you will be golden.

And lets just be clear, gentlemen. When you take a woman out to a nice restaurant, you put on a tie. Or a a blazer. At a minimum, a shirt with a collar. Don't kill yourself over it, just look the part.

Treat her like a lady, and I promise you she'll love you for it.

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

Click here for an excellent example of what to look for when restaurant hunting:

http://johnberryhillrestaurants.com/berryhillandco/

Lets Talk About It: Carpenter Jeans

Carpenter Jeans.

Gentlemen, gentlemen-- lets have a chat. I am here to inform you of some great news: you can be whatever you want to be when you grow up! A doctor, a lawyer, a psychiatrist; shoot for the stars and abandon your career as a carpenter. Wait, you never wanted to be a carpenter? I'm afraid I'm confused. If you never wanted to be a carpenter, why are you be wearing the pair of denim you are now? Abandon your dreams of carpentry and lets make a fresh start (and when I say that "abandon", I mean burn your carpenter jeans and abandon their remains on the side of the road).

Carpenter jeans. I'll say it again for effect. Carpenter jeans. They were probably the first pair of jeans your mother ever bought for you and they had lots of cool loops and pockets for tools and rocks. So you probably thought: "I'm a man, I like tools, I like rocks; theses are the jeans for me." Unfortunately there are several things wrong with that way of thinking. First of all, you were probably five when you received your first pair of carpenter jeans; you were not a man. Secondly, I want you to think about the last time you slid on a pair of carpenter jeans and actually went out and fixed something. If you did, did you even use the loops for any tools?  Think about your entire life and lets be really honest: have you ever used those loops and pockets for their intended purpose? Unless your a contractor (or a carpenter or a rock collector) I would guess that your answer to both of these questions was an overwhelming 'NO.'

Thanks to clothing stores across the nation that emerged during the time of our youth  <<cough>> Old Navy <<cough>>, we have an entire generation of men who still allow their mothers to dress them up like they are little construction workers. Sure, it was endearing back in 1995 when you were still a child and filled with dreams of manual labor and ditch digging, but this is 2012 and men of this age have much higher ambitions.

So do not fret, modern gentlemen. There are options.

I want to introduce you to the 501 Levi: the man's denim. Men don't wear skinny jeans-- they leave that to self-conscious teenage boys. They also don't wear boot-cut jeans-- they leave that to self-conscious teenage girls. Real men wear a good straight cut jean, and that is the 501. When you are out looking for denim, start first by looking for a good dark wash jean. Unlike the carpenter jeans of your past with their nauseating baby blue hues and baggy fit, the dark-wash jean gives the wearer a more clean, cool, and sophisticated look. Dark-wash denim can be worn recreationally, but it is also versatile in the fact that it can be worn in more formal settings as well. Pair it with a t-shirt, you've got your weekend wear. Pair it with a nice collared shirt and a blazer, you can take it out on your hot-date this weekend. The trick is to keep it simple. Avoid special bleaching or tearing for now-- you can adopt denim that has been specially treated to add those effects after you have down the basics.

Find a great fit with a great color, and wear your denim with pride. No more will you be the man whose mother takes you to the local warehouse and buys his jeans for him. Now, you are a man. Now, you buy for yourself.

And as for the other women in your life, what is their opinion? Put yourself in their shoes and think: ditch-digger, or clean-cut gentleman?

The choice is yours.

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

Lets Talk About It: The White New Balance Sneaker

The White New Balance Sneaker

Lets start from the ground up and begin with the most important part of your body-- your feet. If a man doesn't care for his feet then he is nothing short of a primate. What other than a good pair of shoes is there to differentiate us from our hominid ancestors? (other than a good suit, of course)

When you put on your dingy, old, New Balance sneaker in the morning, what are you saying to the world? Are you saying that you are heading to a workout right after class? No. What you're really saying is that you went to Shopko Express, pulled something off of the sale shelf, paid for it, and walked out. Lets just establish that anywhere produce is sold is not a place you should not be buying shoes. Ever.

And beyond where you bought the shoes, when you wear a pair of old sneakers is simply says to women everywhere, "I don't care." And while women may be thrilled by an apathetic man sweeping them off of their feet (i.e. James Dean) they definitely aren't looking for a man who doesn't care about anything at all; especially himself.

So dress it up a bit. Get out of the box and buy a good pair of boat shoes, bucks, or chukka boots. And if you don't know what those are-- Google them. Not only will you learn something, you'll probably find an online store that's selling exactly what your looking for.

Carry on, gents.

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

Want more information? Read up on a women's perspective by clicking on the following link: "Shoe Crimes" --from dontyougochanging.blogspot.com

Gentlemen: An introduction

Gentlemen of Provo--

I come to you in a moment of desperation. I have seen far too many of you wasting away the best years of your life in a stupor of both thought and lifestyle. You cannot carry on in this way; here and now is where we change this.

In this blog I would like to address some of the issues that plague our fair city and the men within it.

Are you single? No surprise. Here is where you re-find your manhood.

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris