Lets Talk About It: Your Shorts.

I'm going to start with this synopsis so that if you don't have time to read today, then at least you have this:

Definitely yes, but not on you:

No.

No.

 

No.

Definitely 'No.' Ever. 

Easy enough, right?

Now, for the explanation:

Short denim shorts: Lets be honest: unless your twenty, young, beautiful, and female, then there is no way you can pull these off. Its not cute, its not funny. Don't wear them.

Cargo shorts: I doubt you're planning on starting a career as a smuggler, so these shorts should never be a part of your wardrobe. They make you look bulky, awkward, and unbalanced-- and those are adjectives that no one likes used descriptively.

Camo shorts: Don't wear camo unless you've earned it (i.e going to war, hunting, etc). And fyi, wearing camouflage  to Walmart on a Saturday = you haven't earned it. Keep trying. 

Plaid shorts: This trend began and ended almost as soon as this one did:

And we're all truly grateful for that, aren't we? 

Hawaiian print shorts: Made exclusively for George Clooney and your grandpa. Not for you, gentlemen.

Now lets talk about a solution:

Introducing, 'flat front shorts.'

Easy, clean, timeless.

Its simple and basic, just like today's post. But, as in life, its always better to keep things "short" and sweet if you ask me.

That's all folks! 

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

Lets Talk About It: Your Pants.

Gentlemen:

Let's catch up. Have you destroyed any evidence of your former denims? Enough that no one could track back to you your ownership of a pair (...pairs?) of those carpenter jeans? Good. Now before you head to the store to buy your new pair of 501 Levis, let's talk about a couple more options you have when it comes to purchasing the perfect pair of pants.

First, lets talk about chinos. Sound it out with me: chee-nos. I don't want you walking around like an idiot saying "chine-os" and having people think you're a racist. A chino, by definition, is a casual pant made from a cotton-twill fabric. It can be worn in both recreational settings as well as those deemed to be business-casual. You can wear a a chino with anything you'd pair with denim. Throw on a t-shit and you have a cool, causal look; throw on a collared shirt and you can wear it to the office. Chinos comfortable, light weight, and fairly easy to find. Choose a chino that is tailored to the leg and comfortable to move in. Ideally, the fit and style should look like this:

Chinos can be cuffed during warmer months to accomplish a more casual look as well. Feel free to buy your chinos in different colors for a more interesting look as well.

Second, lets talk about corduroys, or as they are often referred to as, "cords." Cords are the happy marriage between the comfort of denim and the versatility of chinos. The are typically made from cotton or wool and are quite a bit warmer than denim or chinos in the fall/winter months. When buying, keep in mind the same guidelines used when purchasing chinos: fit and comfort. Say it with me: FIT and COMFORT (with comfort always being secondary to fit). Just because something feels good, doesn't mean it looks good, and this is especially true of corduroy. Think about those charming sweats and pleated khakis your grandpa wears and you'll understand where I'm coming from-- keep your pants tailored close to the leg, and you'll be in good shape.

Now you a full 'to-do' list the next time you plan to go pant shopping. Don't spend a fortune, just find one or two pairs you like and start with that.

Onward and upward, good sirs!

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris

Lets Talk About It: Carpenter Jeans

Carpenter Jeans.

Gentlemen, gentlemen-- lets have a chat. I am here to inform you of some great news: you can be whatever you want to be when you grow up! A doctor, a lawyer, a psychiatrist; shoot for the stars and abandon your career as a carpenter. Wait, you never wanted to be a carpenter? I'm afraid I'm confused. If you never wanted to be a carpenter, why are you be wearing the pair of denim you are now? Abandon your dreams of carpentry and lets make a fresh start (and when I say that "abandon", I mean burn your carpenter jeans and abandon their remains on the side of the road).

Carpenter jeans. I'll say it again for effect. Carpenter jeans. They were probably the first pair of jeans your mother ever bought for you and they had lots of cool loops and pockets for tools and rocks. So you probably thought: "I'm a man, I like tools, I like rocks; theses are the jeans for me." Unfortunately there are several things wrong with that way of thinking. First of all, you were probably five when you received your first pair of carpenter jeans; you were not a man. Secondly, I want you to think about the last time you slid on a pair of carpenter jeans and actually went out and fixed something. If you did, did you even use the loops for any tools?  Think about your entire life and lets be really honest: have you ever used those loops and pockets for their intended purpose? Unless your a contractor (or a carpenter or a rock collector) I would guess that your answer to both of these questions was an overwhelming 'NO.'

Thanks to clothing stores across the nation that emerged during the time of our youth  <<cough>> Old Navy <<cough>>, we have an entire generation of men who still allow their mothers to dress them up like they are little construction workers. Sure, it was endearing back in 1995 when you were still a child and filled with dreams of manual labor and ditch digging, but this is 2012 and men of this age have much higher ambitions.

So do not fret, modern gentlemen. There are options.

I want to introduce you to the 501 Levi: the man's denim. Men don't wear skinny jeans-- they leave that to self-conscious teenage boys. They also don't wear boot-cut jeans-- they leave that to self-conscious teenage girls. Real men wear a good straight cut jean, and that is the 501. When you are out looking for denim, start first by looking for a good dark wash jean. Unlike the carpenter jeans of your past with their nauseating baby blue hues and baggy fit, the dark-wash jean gives the wearer a more clean, cool, and sophisticated look. Dark-wash denim can be worn recreationally, but it is also versatile in the fact that it can be worn in more formal settings as well. Pair it with a t-shirt, you've got your weekend wear. Pair it with a nice collared shirt and a blazer, you can take it out on your hot-date this weekend. The trick is to keep it simple. Avoid special bleaching or tearing for now-- you can adopt denim that has been specially treated to add those effects after you have down the basics.

Find a great fit with a great color, and wear your denim with pride. No more will you be the man whose mother takes you to the local warehouse and buys his jeans for him. Now, you are a man. Now, you buy for yourself.

And as for the other women in your life, what is their opinion? Put yourself in their shoes and think: ditch-digger, or clean-cut gentleman?

The choice is yours.

Cheers.

--Dapper Chris